Misadventures with wine, weights, and running shoes.

Confessions of a Novice Runner #2 on Number Two.

Friday, November 29, 2013
As I have stated so many time before, I started running with a beginners 5k class. We covered the basics; good form, breathing, shoes, dressing accordingly. There were, however, a couple of topics that were not addressed or I just missed that class. One of them was a certain, well, "issue" that plagues some runners...especially on longer distances. 

I remained clueless on this topic for a while or at least until my first 10k when I hopped in the car of one of my running buddies. Upon saying "Good Morning," to she replied, "I didn't poop this morning!" 

I sat there, stone faced, calculating the various responses before settling on , "I'm sorry??" 

Seriously, how am I supposed to respond to that at 5:30 in the morning. I really don't think a chipper "Good to hear," would have gone over so well.

Off we went to the race. 

At the race start we were joined by some of our other friends. Again, I greet them with the appropriate (at least I thought it was appropriate) "Good Morning." Again, the greeting is returned with, "I didn't poop this morning!" and again, I answer with a confused, "I'm sorry?"

This turns into chatter among the group, myself excluded... "You didn't? Oh my God, neither did I. This is awful." "Did you? No, I didn't. Ugh...I know it will hit me at mile two." 

Now I'm thinking that there is a secret code or language that I have not been included on. Maybe I missed the class where they handed out the decoder ring. 

So I ask what the deal is? 

Of course, I can figure out that "going" means a more comfortable run but apparently there is a phenomenon that hits some runners - normally at longer distances - that causes them to get, well, diarrhea. Yep...had no clue about that one. 

Why did I take up running again? Oh yeah...improving my health. That's right. 

Naturally, once I got home I was on a quest to understand this issue and hit Google for more information. 

The best article I found was here giving some details on the causes and prevention of it:
Spot-a-pots - A runners oasis. 
I also talked to some of my other running buds who graced me with horror stories of what they or others had experienced on longer distance training runs. I now understand why everyone carries the wad of emergency TP with them. 

Alright, so now I am armed with some information but seeing how I have not ever suffered from this problem, I am still not worried about this issue. Yeah...I should have been.

The 10k behind me I set out to train for a ten miler and on to a half marathon. The ten miler training went great. Again, I really did not consider the potential for any, umm, "issues" in my future. 

Can't say I find these signs as funny any more.
One weekend, I set out on a solo run to knock out ten miles. I normally do not like running alone but I wanted to get my miles in and no one was available to join me. I hit my usual route: park at the base of the bridge, run over the bridge and back, and then head up the road to the trail. No problem there. 

It was not until a bit up the trail that it started - the sudden discomfort in my stomach. 

Ugh...what is that? What is wrong with me - UGH...UT OH! 

Running suddenly proved difficult and somewhat well, dangerous. I had to settle for the clench and oh so difficult walk up the trail. This is also the moment when I recalled those horror stories about runners having to find a large tree to hide behind. Given the fact that all of the trees were well, small, and that this trail was HEAVILY traveled at the moment, that was not going to be an option. 

And then it went away. See...nothing to worry about. So I resumed my run up the trail..and OH NO..I WAS WRONG. Back to the clenching and walking and then the praying that I didn't run into anyone. Seriously, I don't think I could have managed to talk, clench, AND walk. Something would have to give and I would hate to think what THAT would have been. 

I finally reached the oasis along the trail. A place I would have never under normal circumstances be so happy to see and I heard angels sing when I approached it. 
source
I was also not surprised by the line of runners awaiting to use their restroom. 

I went on to finish my ten miles without any further incident. I am also a little more conscious of what I do before a run...like what I eat. Chili...no longer on that menu. 


2 comments on "Confessions of a Novice Runner #2 on Number Two."
  1. Oh I love this post. I always need to go within the first 3km and found myself in some interesting situations. I always carry TP with me now and if I haven't had the opportunity to "go" before I head out I hit the treadmill for a quick warm up :D Chili and spicy nacho's have been eliminated the night before a long run.

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  2. Oooh...Spicy Nachos! I can imagine that could have repercussions. Yikes. I'm officially on the bland pre-run diet. Sweet potatoes, pancakes, a light pasta...no spicy or containing anything like or resembling beans before a run.

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